Monthly Archives: August 2015

Aug24

The Valley of Despair

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The Valley of Despair

If you’re working on a long term project or some form of transformation you will be familiar with “the valley of despair”. 
For me, it’s been through my ongoing fitness transformation that I have begun to understood this place and been able to apply it to other areas of my life. For most people on a weight loss journey, we call this the plateau; when we’ve got our habits in check, our nutrition is improving and we’re working out well but still those hips won’t shift! 

Zero pounds lost!

To say it can be disheartening is an understatement! You’re putting your all into this weight loss so it’s not unreasonable for you to expect results. You lower your expectations, in the hope of uplifting yourself but still that scale isn’t giving you a single ounce! Now, there are many reasons why that could be happening but I’m not a fitness expert so I’ll leave Google to help you with that one. But what I have learned is that the valley of despair has been a good place for me. Whilst I would love to be dropping those fatty pounds on a weekly basis, I’ve learned to use other methods to measure my progress. 

  • How many full body push-ups can I do in one set compared to last month? 
  • How much more weight can I lift?
  • How clean is my food diary? 
  • How much better am I feeling, mentally, emotionally and physically? 

For example , this weekend we had a cupcake each but by the next day, my husband hadn’t eaten his. When he said he wouldn’t be eating it, I threw it straight into the food caddy. It’s only moments later I realised what i’d done. This time last year I would have eaten that cupcake. Not all your progress can be quantified. 

Take stock!

In the valley of despair I have really learned to change my mindset and work on my habits. I have some way to go but I realise that, had that weight just dropped off with little struggle I would still have the same poor habits and a weak mindset. Some things are meant to be tough and like my PT Robbie always says; – most people think that starting is the hardest thing. But trudging on and doing your best even when you can’t “see” the results, that’s hard! – I would agree. 

Huh?!?

Now most of us have done this, we’ve been wallowing in the valley of despair for so long we decide enough is enough. Fair enough! But going back to the same habits that got us in this situation in the first place is plain silly. If you’ve had enough of the valley of despair and want to quit! Go ahead, but choose another strategy, don’t give up completely and lose all the hard work that you’ve put in. 

Pause 

In the valley of despair, there are lessons to be learned. The longer you’re there the more there is for you to learn. This applies to many areas of our lives! Keep hope alive; reassess your goals and strategy but whatever you do, don’t give up! You’re no longer the same person that started this journey, you’re better, stronger, healthier. 

Stay blessed! 

  

Aug21

“The audacious hope of rooted things

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“The audacious hope of rooted things

I walked into PoundStretcher (bargain store chain in the UK) one day after work and found rose shoots selling for £4 each. Curious as to whether they could actually take root and grow, I started looking for a couple I could take home. Then I overheard a conversation between two ladies nearby. Like me, one of them wanted to buy, curious as to whether, at that price you could actually raise a rose bush. But her friend said, “You get what you pay for, you know. Do you honestly think that these could take?”

And with that, I decided not to buy any, that day. But it stayed on my mind. Eventually, I went back and got two shoots: They did take root and have even flowered in their first year. It reminded me of a passage in Cynthia Bond’s novel “Ruby” 

“Ruby had felt it then. The audacious hope of rooted things. The innocent anticipation of the shooting stalks, the quivering stillness of the watching trees.” –Cynthia Bond, Ruby

  
These plants reminded me that it’s not about how people perceive you or what value someone places on you. We all have this intrinsic power within us to Be! I had doubted myself and made a decision on someone else’s perception. How much discouragement we allow to change what are often intuitive decisions! But if it’s what we really want, we need to go for it. No decision is set in stone.

I find great joy in tending to my flowers and vegetable patch. I love the anticipation of waking up to a new plant; vulnerable but strong. It is amazing that a small seed covered with a little dirt grows to become a plant that feeds, shelters, provides beauty. 

 I want in some way to be a rooted thing, audaciously hopeful in my ability to grow into something of great use. 

  

Aug11

Gogo’s Cove

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My Gogo with her brother and sister-in-law


 It was a small room, probably four by three metres but it was a treasure trove for my young curious mind. Clothes, handbags, jewellery, photographs, unfinished sewing, beading and crochet projects. All these were housed in my grandmothers bedroom. 

Looking back, my grandmother was probably a functioning hoarder. She had two wardrobes plus a makeshift clothes line (mutariro) full of possessions. To think that this room had once contained her and my grandmothers clothes! But for a 9 year old, it was the like a portal into another world. Every drawer and shelf revealed a piece of my grandmothers’ life. Her hopes, dreams and talents; all of which she had plenty, resided in each item she kept close to her. 

Being sent into her room to find something presented an opportunity to take a peek at some of these treasures. I recall a large envelope on a shelf filled with black and white photographs; young versions of our relatives . They were always well dressed, having made the trip to the local photo studio. How times have changed!

She had these two beautiful red handbags that hung up on the wall. The bags were for special occasions, Sunday church or a family gathering. Over time, she used them less and less only to serve as her “secret” cash stash. I remember at the end of every school holiday right before our parents came to collect us, she would ask one of her grandchildren to get her handbag. If it was one of the red ones, we knew we were in for a large payout. A crisp note was guaranteed! I loved that she knew not to give us money in front of our parents. 

When she passed away, as is with Shona custom, her possessions became those of her “relatives”. Bit by bit, the room that held memories of almost 8 decades was dismantled and handed to one person or another. The beautiful clothes she never wore, the shoes, the unfinished projects; they all moved on and into someone else’s home to start a new chapter. And with it, her spirit moved on too. As time passed I could no longer smell her or feel her presence. 

There’s a longing embedded in my memories of her. She lived through an interesting time and I would have loved to hear those tales and relate them to all her possessions. I often wonder who got those two beautiful handbags and if they’ve treat them with the same love and care that she had afforded them.